For my Dark Horses | Self Reflection, Sequence & Playlist
THE CLASS:
The design of this class is meant to create a strong and stable core and facilitate heart opening. Energetic anatomy in yoga thinks of the core as the “power center” or the area from which we draw our social identity. The, “who am I going to be in the world?” type of stuff is housed there. This area needs to be stable but not stagnant or stuck so that you can draw from it. The heart is an area of compassion, generosity and forgiveness - it’s the link between the more physical / primal areas (feet / legs / hips) of the body and the intellectual, communicative, cognitive areas (throat / face / brain). The idea of this class is to stimulate the parts of you that understand who you really are and what you really want in your life (GUT STRENGTH / here I am type of stuff) and pair it with the compassionate energy of the heart (you’re doing great / don’t give up / let the old shit go type of stuff). If you’re looking to make changes in your life - try it out. As with everything single class offering - adapt the class as much as you need to so it fits your body as it shows up today.
THE MUSIC:
Empowering, up beat, purposefully picked to get you integrated - flowing with some power and enthusiasm - and then deeply opening. Enjoy!
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THE BACKGROUND / DHARMA TALK
When I lived in Boston in my 20’s I thought I would never be successful until I had a job that required me taking the “T” to work. (Yeah - the train). Strange right? When I watched my college friends get jobs in big, shiny office buildings downtown I thought that was THE only way I was going to climb the corporate ladder, be make money, be successful, meet a husband and live the “American Dream.”
Instead my career path went like this:
Sales & Design in a Brookline Sign Shop
Purchasing / Promo Design in Dad’s Nanotech Manufacturing Firm
Takes Yoga Teacher Training Between these two - starts teaching “on the side”
Host of Online Music Show for Startup Company ( & many other acting gigs - plays, commercials, college films, indie films, etc.)
Back to Dad’s Company (head hung in shame)
Marketing Gig @ Cambridge Agency (for almost a decade)
By the time I got to my marketing gig - I was so desperate to feel like I was legitimized in the workplace that I smashed me (a very square peg) into the job (a very round hole). What I liked: my boss (a dear friend), working with people, being creative, taking big meetings in the city, strategizing with brilliant minds in tech. What I didn’t like: constant stress, never ending drama and fires to fix, I wasn’t overly passionate about most of the tech we were supporting, I also wasn’t very good to my body and I was too stress out to be the mother I wanted to be to my kids and the wife I wanted to be to my partner.
What happened? I drank more than I should have, I felt a constant strain in my marriage (we both worked so hard - there was very little breathing room). And even though teaching yoga had me up at ungodly hours I clung to it like a lifeboat. It was the only thing in my life that helped me regulate the overwhelming pressure cooker I had created for myself in a healthy way.
The voices around me had two very opposite ideas:
STAY: You need this job, you have to support your kids, you’ll never make this much money doing anything else - you have to sacrifice your dreams (yoga & acting) for your kids.
LEAVE: You are very stressed out - ALL THE TIME - there’s got to be a better way.
But it’s funny. When you’re used to beating yourself up. You get really good at just “sucking it up.”
Fast forward 2 years and I live in California - I teach a shit load of yoga and I contract on the side with my extra time. The balance is much better for me physically / emotionally and I LOVE what I do - but I’m still figuring out some of the other sides of it. And I often feel guilty for my much reduced income - constantly thinking, “SHOULD I go back to work? I should. Should I? I Should. But really?”
I picked up this book the other night on a whim called “Dark Horse, Achieving Success Through the Path of Fulfillment.” Dark Horse catalogues multiple unlikely underdogs and charts their path to success, striving to reveal what is the “thing” that made these people blindingly successful masters in their field. It all comes back to the word - “fulfillment.” Find something you really fucking love. Be excellent at that thing - and yes you might still have to work your ass off. It will be hard but it will feel “good hard” - and you will very likely carve out an extremely rewarding path for yourself.
In a world where we’ve been fed the “traditional path” - those who buck that path are often cast aside. Go to school, college, masters, work your way up, be better than everybody around you - and THEN you will be successful. Dark Horses don’t always work well like that. Instead we meander a bit trying to smash ourselves into those round holes - when we are very much a different shape - larger and wider than the systems that were build to corral us towards a very structured outcome. If you want more - read the book :) But it was nice to hear that my path wasn’t shame worthy. It didn’t make me dumb. It didn’t make me lazy or lesser than. It just made me a bit of a dark horse.
So to you - my fellow Dark Horses - who feel in your bones that something different might be calling you. Keep listening. When you hear it - start moving towards it. If it’s not perfect - keep going. Adapt, adjust, change, try again, adapt again, let people tell you you’re crazy and keep walking.
Just. Keep. Going.
You’re gonna get there.